How can I keep myself blissful all the time?
Hi!
Thanks for asking such a question. It’s a big one, but it’s not so grand as “How can I be happy?”
Bliss, which I consider the same as joy or ecstasy, is a lot more specific than happiness, it’s almost trance-like, intense, and usually short-term, compared to the broader concept of a happy life. Many blissful moments, happy life will make, that’s the way I differentiate the two words.
When I was about 11 or 12, due to some intense life experiences, I first learned that there was a button of sorts or a faucet I could switch on at any time, inside my chest, as it were. That faucet produced bliss, or perhaps was bliss. Every time I focused on it, it gave me the sensation of zero gravity and instantly improved my mood. If I wasn’t careful, though, it might even overwhelm me. I have no idea what this is and still don’t. Let’s just assume for now that it’s some quirky construction of my subconscious.
After discovering this quirk, the bliss tap, and after a lot of experimenting with mild meditative states in my teen years, I was riding on this soft cloud everywhere I went. I kept this bliss fountain sprinkling all the time like a fancy water feature in a big city. I was never too happy, to the point of drawing weird stares or losing concentration in school, but I was very good at being the one person in a group who saw the bright side.
So then, can you even be blissful all the time? I don’t know. All I can say is that I’ve become more blissful over time, with more experience and more training.
Let’s talk about how, so you can do it too.
#1 Live in a friendly environment, adapt to it, and grow it:
Loneliness is a common root to a lot of difficult stuff I see people dealing with. And you don’t have to be literally friendless and alone to feel lonely. Nowadays, most people my age, I think, dream to stay somewhere nearby friends and family, but separate. A haven of peace and tranquility with regular access to outsiders, supportive and mentally healthy, but convenient and social as well. Whether that’s your goal or something totally different, try to take more opportunities to check in with people or talk to new ones. I’d say about 55-70 percent of my most blissful moments in life were shared moments, between me and someone else.
#2 Think more about others:
Now, obviously, if your problem is thinking too much about others, this may not apply. But many people I’ve met who say they “care too much” about others, really mean it about themselves and their own comfort.
I’ve noticed that depression is usually rooted in extreme introspection, and on the belief that everything that happens isn’t as important as how the depressed person feels because of what happens. If you operate this way every day, bliss is going to rarely, hardly ever hit you, like wearing a raincoat stopping water droplets from touching your skin.
If this is you: the first step to not thinking so much about doing the right thing, and actually start helping others, is by giving up your ideas, your reactions, your needs, as things to lead your interactions, and instead more as background noise. Then, you start listening to people, actively. Ask people questions as a way to shut up your own inner monologue. You’ll grow more and more intrigued with how people respond. Soon, new conversations become inherently blissful.
#3 Don‘t let your work stress you out:
People always consider their work a burden. It’s generally considered not ideal, but still socially acceptable, to sacrifice other important things for work, like health and family time. I don’t like scheduling, but I do like timetables or general systems you can have, policies, anything really. Just as long as it caps you off from getting overworked. In this way, you can complete a substantial amount of work from week to week without getting fatigued. It’ll feel like you’re not even working, which is the goal. In my initial days building website-based gigs and income streams, I was working harder than I ever have and earning the least results. Naturally, in that situation, I would often get stressed, and I admit I was turning a bit lazy as well, as a way to avoid the feeling of being stressed. But soon I realized that this wasn’t an obstacle in my path to financial freedom, it was the path. It was like being mad at yourself for not being exactly as skinny as you dream of being, every day, despite losing weight consistently. I think I’ll be talking more about stuff like this on my site soon, so feel free to check it out if you’re reading this.
#4 Go somewhere quiet:
It might look a bit basic, but if you can get to a quieter place, you will usually end up better off for it. This applies to any difficult situation. Silence means less stimulus, which means more introduction of inner thoughts to compensate. Learning to focus on enjoying the moment, of feeling bliss, going out, maybe to a park, as if to literally find bliss like a wildflower, is an incredibly powerful and healing thing you can do during a time of crisis.
#5 Don’t entangle yourself in memories:
As everyone has heard a million times, live in the now. Even pleasant memories can linger if you fixate on them for some reason. The present usually has something to offer, if you just zoom back into focus.
The aforementioned steps can really help you live a blissful life.
Good Luck!
Thanks,
Cleo
